


Be Careful What You Wish For

by aliziranCrimson



Category: Game Grumps, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Magic, RT magical baby AU, Siren!Dan, Too many kids, Wishes Gone Wrong, and then enough fluff to put you in a coma, banshee!Matt, birb!Lindsay, cat boy!Ray, djinn!Brian, kelpie!Barry, kidnapping???, magical babies, merboy!Gavin, mostly angst, moth girl!Suzy, pegasus!Michael, reptilian!Arin, shapeshifter!Jack, what do I even tag this, witch!Geoff, with a dash of worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 05:57:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4949275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliziranCrimson/pseuds/aliziranCrimson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes people wish for things they would never want. When Gavin accidentally wishes Ray away, Geoff has to track him down and make sure he gets home safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is a little thing i wrote based on someoneudontknow5's magical baby AU. which i proceeded to shove Grumps into because im trash.
> 
> alternatively titled "Geoff is Gonna Wind Up on Hoarders"

_I wish you weren’t here._

 

He had never regretted anything more in his life.

 

_I wish you weren’t here._

He clutched the scratch on his arm with one hand and held onto Michael’s shoulders with the other.

 

_I wish you weren’t here._

The words repeated in his head, never leaving, taunting him as Michael galloped out into the yard. Geoff and Jack were outside, planning the new expansion to the house to accommodate the new additions to the family. _One less than there were before._

 

_I wish you weren’t here._

“Geoff!” Michael yelled, skidding to a stop. Geoff turned, seeing the two. Gavin hid behind Michael’s shoulder, sobbing.

 

_I wish you weren’t here._

“Gavin, woah what’s wrong, what happened?” Geoff asked, jogging over to the pair and kneeling beside them. He tried to turn Gavin’s face towards him, but Gavin pulled away. He couldn’t look at Geoff, knowing what he did.

 

_I wish you weren’t here._

 

“Michael, what happened?” Geoff asked the pegasus.

 

“I don’t know, I was in the kitchen with Lindsey and Ryan and Gavin just started screaming! The only thing I could understand is he kept saying your name and Ray’s name,” he said, nervously shifting on his hooves. Geoff finally got Gavin to turn, and that’s when Geoff noticed the scratch on Gavin’s arm.

 

“Hey, buddy, come here. Did Ray scratch you?” he asked. Gavin hesitated, then nodded. Geoff gently took his arm, inspecting the four parallel cuts. They were fairly deep, Ray rarely broke skin when he scratched, but these were angry and red, oozing blood.

 

“R-Ray,” Gavin choked.

 

“Shh, it’s okay, I can fix it,” Geoff said, pulling out his wand. Mending the cuts was a simple spell, and they faintly glowed before closing. “There, all better!” he said, smiling. Gavin shook his head, still sobbing.

 

“N-no, Ray’s- hic- R-Ray’s guh-guh…” the boy managed before wailing. Small woodland creatures were beginning to gather around. Normally that cheered Gavin up, but he just seemed to cry harder.

 

“Shh, shh, deep breaths Gavin, tell me what happened?” Geoff asked. He couldn’t help but feel like something was very, very wrong. Gavin took a few gulping breaths and tried again.

 

“I wuh-was in the kiddie p-pool and I grabbed R-Ray and puh-pulled him i-in and h-hic-he scratched me,” he said, face twisting in shame.

 

“What have I told you about pulling Ray into the water, he doesn’t like the water,” Geoff said. Gavin shook his head again.

 

“No, th-that’s not-” Gavin said, taking another breath. “He scratched me r-really bad and I ye-yelled-” he stopped, wailing again. There were definitely words in that wail, but Geoff couldn’t make them out.

 

“I’m sure Ray isn’t mad at you for yelling, it’s okay-”

 

“NO!” Gavin shouted, surprising Geoff.

 

“Okay, what happened next?” he asked, trying to wipe Gavin’s tears.

 

“I ye-yelled at him, I-I made him go away and I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” Gavin said.

 

“Made him go away? Gavin, I can’t understand you, where did he go?” Geoff asked. Panic was starting to creep up his spine.

 

“I-I don’t know, Br-Brian made him-”  
  


“Brian? Oh no,” Jack said.

 

“Gavin, listen to me, I’m not mad, okay, but I need you to be honest with me. Did you wish Ray away?” Geoff asked. Gavin nodded and Geoff felt his stomach drop. “Gavin, what did you say? I need to know exactly what you said. After you said ‘I wish’, what did you say?”

 

“I said I wanted him gone,” Gavin said, sobbing.

 

“Did you say where?” Geoff asked, trying to keep his cool for Gavin’s sake. Gavin shook his head.

 

“I just said I wanted him gone but I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it, I want him back!” he cried.

 

“Okay, okay,” Geoff said, standing up. It was too hard to maintain his composure. He walked in a circle, pulling at his hair.

 

“I’m sorry!” Gavin said.

 

“I know, I know, just- I can fix this okay, we’re gonna get him back, don’t worry,” Geoff said, mostly for Gavin’s benefit.

 

“Geoff,” Jack said.

 

“Yeah?” he answered, still pacing. Jack tried to stop him.

 

“Geoff, stop. Stop pacing, just breathe-”  
  
“I know, Jack, fuck! I’m breathing, just let me fucking think!” he yelled, jerking away. He walked away from the two boys and his partner. He wanted to scream, his mind racing and blank at the same time. He could hear Jack trying to quiet Gavin. He scrubbed his hands down his face, then crouched down. He felt like he was going to throw up for a minute. He breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, counting backwards from ten before standing again and walking back to the group.

 

“D-Daddy,” Gavin said, reaching up to Geoff. Geoff picked him up, hugging him tight and letting the boy rub his snotty nose into his shirt.

 

“I know, buddy, shh, it’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay, we’ll get him back,” he said. He started back inside, Jack and Michael following close behind. A group of children had formed at the back door. They all looked like they were on the verge of tears, whether they knew what had happened or were just reacting to how upset Gavin was.

 

Geoff carried Gavin down the stairs, to the special room he had made for Gavin and Dan in the basement. Dan was already here, along with Arin, Barry, and Suzy.

 

“Gavin, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Suzy asked. Geoff lowered Gavin into the water, Dan swimming over to hold him.

 

“Dan, I need you to watch Gavin, okay?” Geoff said. The older siren nodded, then Geoff headed back upstairs.

 


	2. You Remind Me of the Babe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so on my google docs i give the "sequel" chapters stupid titles based (mostly) on shitty sequels. this time i went with lyrics to Dance Magic Dance. i dont make it all the way through the song tho >:/

Geoff was finding it very hard to keep composure. Most of the kids had gathered around. By now they all knew what had happened. He had actually had to stop Ryan from punching Brian. Jack had to lock him in a room upstairs and he could still hear Ryan breaking things in rage.

 

"Brian, please listen to me. I'm not mad at you, I'm not mad at Gavin. I just want to get Ray home safe, okay? I wish Ray was back here," Geoff said. Brian shook his head. "Brian, please, I wish for you to bring Ray back."

 

Brian shook his head again. "No," he said firmly. Geoff made a noise of frustration.

 

"Brian, _please_ , I wish for Ray-"

 

"I can't!" Brian yelled.

 

" _Yes you can_!" Geoff snapped, barely able to contain himself from grabbing and shaking the boy.

 

" _No I can't_!" Brian yelled. "It doesn't work like that!"

 

"What doesn't work like that?" Geoff asked, taking a breath to try and calm his temper. It wouldn’t do him any good to snap at the one person that knew how to get Ray back.

 

"I can't just bring him back, he's in the Never-There," Brian explained.

 

"What's the Never-There?" Geoff asked.

 

"It's where things that get wished away go," he said. Geoff rubbed his face, nodding.

 

“Okay, okay, how do I get something back from the Never-There?” he asked.

 

“I don’t know,” Brian said. Geoff pressed his fingers into his eyes, making another frustrated noise.

 

“Brian-”

 

“I don’t know! I really don’t! I’m sorry!” Brian yelled, crossing his arms over his chest. “If Gavin didn’t mean it, he shouldn’t have said it,” he mumbled.

 

“You’re right, Brian, he shouldn’t have. But people say a lot of things they don’t mean when they’re upset. Are you sure-” Geoff started to ask again.

 

“Yes!” Brian said, just as frustrated. Geoff stood up, pacing in a circle again. What the hell was he supposed to do? If Brian couldn’t wish him back from the Never-There, how was he supposed to fix things? Brian stayed stock-still, back pressed against the wall.

 

“Okay, Brian, you can go,” Geoff said. Brian whimpered.

 

“You want me to leave? I’m sorry, please don’t make me go!” the boy said, starting to break down into tears. Geoff took three long strides across the room, falling to his knees and holding Brian tight.

 

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I don’t want you to go, okay? You can stay here, you can stay here forever if you want, god I couldn’t lose you too,” Geoff said, mumbling into the boy’s neck. Brian nodded, sniffing.

 

“I don’t wanna leave, I’m sorry,” he cried. Geoff rocked the boy, fighting back tears of his own.

 

“Never, you never have to leave, no matter what you have a home here. Always,” Geoff said, kissing the boy’s forehead. Cursed with infinite children or not, Geoff genuinely cared about every single child, as if they were his own. If you asked him, they _were_ his, it made no difference to him whether the stork dropped them into his lap or not.

 

They were his family. It was very large, and sort of broken, and a tad bit weird, but still good.

 

Still good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled "I Never Got Over Lilo and Stitch"


	3. What Babe?

After getting Brian settled down, Geoff asked very nicely that all the children go to their rooms and have quiet time while he tried to figure out what to do. The only child _not_ having quiet time was Ryan, and really, there wasn’t much they could do there. The boy had just enough innate magical talent to become a time bomb when he was angry. And boy, was he _angry_.

 

“Magically reinforcing the windows after the baseball incident was a good idea,” Jack said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Geoff was sprawled out on his back, covered in books and tomes, staring blankly at the ceiling and hoping inspiration would drop into his lap like a child from the sky.

 

“I have my moments,” Geoff said. Jack shifted some of the books around, flipping a few pages.

 

“Any ideas yet?” Jack asked. Geoff groaned, bringing his hands up to rub at his face.

 

“No, I’ve been through every book I have on djinn, and the only one I found that even _mentions_ the Never-There is this one,” he lifted a book, old worn leather and yellowing pages, “and all it says is that the Never-There is a closely guarded secret of the djinn, filled with forbidden treasures and monsters.”

 

“That doesn’t bode well,” Jack said, taking the book and reading over the passage, hoping to catch something Geoff might have missed.

 

“No it fucking doesn’t,” Geoff said. He pulled the pillow from under his head and screamed into it. Jack made a worrying face, then turned back to the book.

 

“ _I’ve encountered tale of a place the Djinn call the Never-There_ ,” Jack read aloud. “ _It is their closely guarded secret, filled with all manner of forbidden treasure and fearsome beast wished away by mortals. Few know of it’s existence, wonder of where the wished-away things go never crossing most’s minds, and those that do are just as hush as the Djinn about it. They covet the wonders there, many losing their minds and life looking for it’s location. Beware the lure of lust for such things, none have ever made it to the Never-There and returned with their lives_.”

 

“But where is it!” Geoff yelled into the pillow, then threw it to the side. “Where would something like that…” he said trailing off.

 

“I don’t have any idea, Geoff,” Jack said.

 

“No, _where. Location_ ,” Geoff murmured.

 

“I don’t know,” Jack said, looking at his partner in confusion.

 

“People are _looking_ for it. People are…” Geoff sat bolt upright, startling Jack.

 

“Jeez, Geoff, what-”

 

“Jack, people are _looking for it_. They’re _looking for it_!” he cried out, grabbing Jack’s shirt.

 

“Okay, but what-”

 

“ _It’s a physical place_ ,” Geoff said. Jack’s eyes widened in realization.

 

“And if it’s a physical place…”

 

“Then I can _scry_ for it!” Geoff said, jumping out of the bed and bolting from the room. Jack followed him, close behind as they made their way to Brian’s room. Geoff burst through the door, Brian sitting up in his bed.

 

“G-Geoff?” he asked, wiping at his tears. Geoff rushed in, falling to his knees beside Brian’s bed.

 

“Brian, the Never-There, is it a physical place? If I could find it, could I go there?” he asked, holding Brian’s face gently. The boy nodded, and Geoff let out a cry of triumph, kissing the boy on the forehead as he stood. Geoff straightened up, both fists in the air. There was _hope_ , all he had to do was _find it_ , then Ray would be _home_. He spun around, seeing Jack in the door, then grabbed the other man by the front of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss.

 

“What was that for, not that I mind, but-” Jack started as soon as Geoff pulled away, but was cut off with another kiss before Geoff started down the stairs.

 

“You figured it out!” he called. Jack stood there, confused.

 

“I did?”

 

“Yeah!” Geoff yelled, already in his study. He started jerking books and candles off of the shelves, closing the door behind him with magic. He would need no interruptions during this.

 

He grabbed a large, flat book off the top of one shelf, full of old maps of everywhere from Hong Kong to the faerie realm of Avalon. He raked everything on his desk off in a sweeping motion, an alembic shattering as it hit the floor. He sat up the candles and opened the book to a map of the world. He could start here and go from there, closing the curtains and lighting the candles with a dismissive wave. There was only one other piece he needed now.

 

The opened one of the drawers in his desk, pulling out an ornate box. He had many pendulums, for all different things. His favorite was old, citrine suspended on leather lace which he kept with him always, but this was important. This was a job for a special pendulum.

 

Inside the box was a clear quartz pendulum on a silver chain. Never had he seen a crystal that was so clear and free of impurities. If he couldn’t find Ray with this…

 

He shook his head, clearing all of his thoughts but one. _Ray, he needed to find Ray_. He held the pendulum above the map in the center. The pendulum began to spin, making a tight circle over the map, before stopping suddenly over the Middle East.

 

Geoff swapped to a map of the Middle East, concentrating again. After 3 more map changes, the pendulum finally rested on the Giza Plateau. That was as close as he was going to get with the pendulum. He pocketed his pendulum, closing his atlas, then headed upstairs to pack what he would need for his journey.

 

Next stop, Egypt.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled "I Like Italics a Little Too Much"


	4. The Babe With the Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello people reading this as i desperately try to get all of this posted at the same time, i am failing very hard

Believe it or not, _getting_ to Egypt was the easy part. International broom travel is, of course, _highly_ illegal. Unfortunately, or rather, _fortunately_ for Geoff, it’s near impossible to regulate. Sure, it takes _forever_ to fly across an entire ocean and half a continent, and is completely inconvenient all other 364 days out of the year. But Geoff didn’t feel any fatigue during travel, too hyped up on adrenaline and worry to even entertain the notion of being _tired_.

 

The sun was just beginning to rise by the time he made it to the Giza Plateau. It was the first time he had ever seen the pyramids in person, and he made a mental note to plan a trip with the kids once everyone was home safe. Ryan especially would love this.

 

He pulled his pendulum from his pocket, concentrating on finding Ray once more. The pendulum swung, this time in a wide arc before stopping, hanging in the air in a way that should have been impossible. He followed the point of the crystal, looking out to-

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Geoff whispered to himself. The crystal was pointing dead towards the Sphinx. Geoff began walking, feeling the pendulum tug weakly at first, then stronger the closer he got.

 

Once he was standing in front of the statue, looking up into its weather-worn face, the pendulum was tugging so hard he was having trouble keeping a hold on it. It tugged once, twice, then the delicate chain slipped from his fingers and flew to the ground between the Sphinx’s paws. He chased after it, searching the sand for the small crystal. He grew uneasy as he moved into the shadow of the Sphinx, skin crawling with the feeling of being watched from all sides. Finally he caught a glimmer of silver peeking out of the golden sand. The pendulum was slowly burying itself into the sand, sinking lower by the second. He dove for it, grasping the chain before it also disappeared into the sand. He stood, having to expend a significant amount of effort to pull the pendulum from the ground. Even as he stood, mere feet from something far older than he could even comprehend, the pendulum seemed drawn to the ground.

 

Realization hit Geoff all at once, tingling down his spine. He pocketed the pendulum, he could feel it still tugging him toward the earth, then took several large steps back. The workers doing restoration work on the Sphinx would be there soon, preferring to work in the time before the sun made the sand blistering hot, so he had to act fast. Once he was a good hundred feet from the statue, he took a deep breath.

 

The irony of what he was about to do was not lost on Geoff.

 

“ _And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the Lord caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided_ ,” he said, channeling his energy through his hand. The sands seemed to shimmer, then they _shifted_ , then the sand rose up in the space between the Sphinx’s paws. The sands parted to either side, revealing a stone stairwell and a door far beneath the visible portion of the statue. He took a steadying breath, then began to descend the stairs. The feeling of being watched increased tenfold. He approached the door, marked with hieroglyphics and other, even older markings. Geoff touched them reverently.

 

“Is this… Sumerian? How long has this _been_ here?” he mumbled to himself. The scholar in him, the part of him that got excited over the driest, most boring parts of magical history and theory, was screaming to document his findings, record the markings for later translation.

 

The parent in him was much louder, and it screamed that there was no time, that Ray couldn’t wait for him.

 

He searched the door for a mechanism to open it, but all he found was smooth stone.

 

“Oh, come on, there has to be a way to open this!” he hissed to himself. He poured over every inch of the door, then he began to hear something in the distance.

 

“What-” he said, looking behind him to the staircase.

 

_Voices_.

 

He was out of time.

 

His searching became frantic, fearing getting caught. The Egyptian government guarded their national treasures like dwarven gold. The process to even _get_ a permit to come study the ruins was arduous. Geoff knew. He had tried.

 

“Come the fuck on, how the fuck do I open you?” Geoff asked the door, so frustrated he was shaking. He was honestly moments from kicking the door, but if he was caught that would just add to his crimes.

 

“What do I have to do? Wish? Because this is a djinn thing? I wish this door would open!” he said. The door didn’t budge. “Jesus- come _on_ , open! I don’t have time for this, _don’t make me destroy you_! Fucking- _abracadabra_! _Alohomora_! _Open sesame_!”

 

The door glowed faintly, descending into the ground.

 

“Really? Fucking _really_?” Geoff said, rubbing his face. He glanced behind him, spotting people at the top of the staircase. “Fuck, fuck, _fuck open faster you piece of shit_!”

 

As soon as the door was low enough that Geoff could climb through the opening, he wiggled through, landing with a solid thud on the other side. Torches lit themselves down the corridor, and the door continued to descend into the ground.

 

“No, no, _close, close sesame_!” he shouted to no effect. He made a frustrated noise and decided to just _bolt_ , running down the corridor before anyone could get to him.

 

The only things he could hear were the slapping of his Converse against the stone tile and his own ragged breaths in his ears. This was probably the most exercise he’d had in _years_.

 

He rounded a corner, just barely able to stop before plummeting to his death as the floor suddenly ended. He looked back and forth, pacing the ledge of the chasm like a caged tiger.

 

“Okay, okay, think-” he scoffed, “duh, stupid, you have a _broom_.”

 

He mounted his broom and kicked off the ground.

 

And nothing happened. He merely bounced on the ground.

 

“What?” he said. That was when he noticed the heaviness hanging over him. “Oh great, magic suppressant.”

 

He looked over the chasm again, looking for any clue on how to get across the pit. He tugged at his hair, making a frustrated noise. Then he noticed a stone in the wall that wasn’t quite flush with the others. The more he stared at it, the more of them he saw. And the more he saw, the more he realized they were spaced in even intervals along the wall. Geoff gulped, approaching the wall. The first stone he came to even had a groove along the top for him to grip, and looking down to foot level he found more jutting stones.

 

He took a step back and took a shaking breath. The stones only protruded a couple of inches, and he couldn’t see the bottom of the pit. He approached the wall again, gripping the first stone.

 

“Okay, Ramsey, you can do this, you played Tomb Raider. If Lara Croft and her enormous tits can shimmy across a wall, so can you,” he whispered to himself. He took a few deep breaths, psyching himself up before stepping off of the platform and onto the first low stone. The moment he was completely off of the platform and clinging solely to the wall, his stomach dropped. He gripped the stone with white knuckles, squeezing his eyes closed and breathing fast through his nose.

 

He slowly blinked open his eyes, and moving only as much as he had to, looked out to the next hand stone.

 

“Okay, doing great, you’re doing great. Gonna have Ray home in no time, come on man, you can do it,” he said, encouraging himself. To grip the next stone he had to lean away from the wall slightly, then he shot his arm out, grabbing the stone and immediately flattening himself against the wall again.

 

“Great, see, you’re doing great. Slow and steady wins the race,” he said, carefully moving one foot over to the next foothold, then the other, and lastly his other hand.

 

“Fantastic, look at you, you’re the wall climbing champ, okay, just a little more,” he said, reaching out for the next stone. His movements became more confident, though the feeling of his heart beating in his throat never left. He took the next three stones in stride, then reached out for the fourth.

 

His foot slipped, scrabbling for purchase that wasn’t there. This stone had crumbled away many hundreds of years ago. Geoff slipped down, almost losing his grip on his handhold. He flattened himself against the wall once he regained his balance, blood roaring in his ears, breath huffing against the ancient stone. He inhaled 3,000 year old dust, but dared not to cough for fear of falling.

 

“Get it together, Ramsey, you can do this. Ray _needs_ you to do this. You can’t let him down. You’re doing it for him, do it for him, do it for Ray, do it, do it,” he chanted over again and again, looking over to where the foothold should have been. The handholds were there, but he would have to skip over the missing stone by his feet. He reached out, taking hold of the stone, then moved his other hand. He was stretched out diagonally across the wall.

 

He reached out with one foot, trying to reach across the gap to the next foot stone. He pointed his toes, slipping across the wall. The stone was just out of his reach.

 

“Nope, nope,” he said, moving his foot back to the far stone. He pressed his forehead against the wall, he would have to jump. He whimpered, but knew he had to at least try.

 

“God, if you’re out there, if you’re listening, please let me get across. Please, let me get to Ray. I’ll give up the booze, I swear, no more of ‘daddy’s medicine’, no more tenners for lost teeth because Daddy had a few drinks and doesn’t want to go to the store and get change. Just let me get to Ray,” he whispered. He thunked his head against the wall, trying to calm his frantic heart.

 

“Okay, you can do it, just don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t-” he said, then jumped, swinging his feet across the gap.

 

For a second, he thought he had missed. Then his feet found the stone, and he let out a cry of joy. He laughed nervously, heart nearly giving out on him and his stomach hanging somewhere around his knees.

 

“Hell yeah, told you, you’re the wall climbing champ!” he smiled, then groaned. “Fuck I have to give up drinking,” he said, reaching for the next handhold, “well, maybe not _all_ the booze-”

 

The far handhold began to crumble away, slipping from his fingers. He screeched, clinging to the wall, missing the handhold on the _other_ side. There was a moment of feeling like he was free falling as he glanced down on instinct.

 

“Fuck, fuck I looked down!” he shouted. He felt like time was slowing down, eyes snapping to the ledge on the other side of the gap. He was almost there! He pushed off the wall, leaping toward his goal. He hit hard, knocking the wind out of himself, then quickly began slipping. He scrabbled, both hands and feet searching for any purchase. His foot caught just right against the stone, allowing him to push up with all his strength and vault over onto the platform.

 

He rolled over onto his back, gasping.

 

“Okay, you know what? _Fuck you_ , God! We were _negotiating_ and you went and pulled _that_? No, fuck you! I’m gonna keep fucking drinking, I’m going to drink until I can’t remember this piece of shit dungeon!” he yelled, sitting up. He brushed himself off, grumbling angrily, then continued down the corridor.

 

The next room he came to seemed unremarkable, a tiled floor with patterns and a shut door on the opposite end. Geoff glanced over the floor warily, using the handle of his broom to check for pressure plates. He found none, so he began walking carefully to the door on the other side of the room. He had made it to the dead center of the room before the tile he was stood on sunk into the ground. He heard mechanisms in the walls spring to life, so he ducked his head and sprinted towards the door. He hit it with a grunt, frantically searching for a way to open it.

 

“Come on, come on, open sesame!” nothing happened and he groaned. “Oh come on, that worked last time!” he shouted. His searching became more frantic, feeling an impending sense of doom as the seconds ticked by.

 

Suddenly, the noise behind him ceased. He squeezed his eyes shut, expecting the sweet release of death, but it never came. He slowly relaxed, looking over his shoulder. The only thing that had changed in the room was the addition of four levers along each wall. He slowly approached them, realizing this room wasn’t a _trap_ , but a _puzzle_. He hesitantly reached out, pulling the lever closest to him. The floor a few feet in front of him sprung to life, arranging itself, then moved back into place as it had been before. He took notice of the pattern across the floor, realizing what needed to be done.

 

The levers had to be pulled in a certain sequence, and luckily if you messed up, the room reset itself. Geoff looked at the levers, looking for a clue on how to solve the puzzle. Above each lever was an image; a hawk, a rat, a person, the Sun, an alligator, a snake, reeds, and-

 

“Oh what the fuck is that?” Geoff asked out loud. The lever closest to him held an image of a beast; the head of a lion, the body of a lizard, and the tail of a scorpion. “Is that a manticore? I didn’t think those were even _real_ , what the hell is it doing in here with what I’m assuming is the food chain?”

 

He shook his head, walking over to the lever with the Sun. He pulled the lever, the tiles in the floor rearranging. This time when they stopped, they didn’t move back into their original positions, signalling he had gotten the first lever right. He moved quickly through the other levers, thinking this puzzle to be easy.

 

He got down to three levers left, the alligator, the man, and the manticore. He pulled the lever for the alligator, the tiles in the floor swapping, then all of them moving back to their original positions.

 

“What? Alligator isn’t next? Oh bullshit!” he grumbled, starting over. This time he pulled the lever for the man next, _then_ the alligator. The tiles didn’t reset, another right answer.

 

“And the manticore eats everything,” he said, pulling the last lever. The tiles moved into their final positions, making a snake biting its tail in an infinite figure eight. As soon as the tiles stopped, the door opened, and Geoff moved on.

 

He could hear the next room before he found it, his stomach bottoming out.

 

“No, no, no, _please no_ ,” he chanted, rounding the corner. He stood above another pit, but this one was lit up, allowing him to see the mass of writhing serpents below. Geoff felt faint, on the verge of tears.

 

“Snakes, _why_ did have to be fucking _snakes_?” he whimpered. Above the pit were vines, and that appeared to be the only way across.

 

Geoff walked to the edge of the platform, squealing and jumping back as a snake hissed up at him. He breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to convince himself to grab the first vine.

 

“You can do it, you did everything else, you can do this. You’re up here and they’re down there and they can’t get you. Do it for Ray,” he mumbled, taking hold of the vine. He planned his next grab, then stepped back and swung across the pit. He grabbed the next vine, openly crying as snakes snapped at his legs. He used the momentum to swing for the next vine, just about grabbing it before it bowed up, hissing and striking at his hand.

 

“That’s not a vine, that’s a fucking _snake_!” he screamed, watching it fall to the pit below. His momentum faltered as his clung to the vine, crying. He calmed his nerves, then used his legs to build up momentum again, reaching for another vine. This one was _not_ a snake, and with one last kick, he was able to jump from the vine to the floor on the other side of the room.

 

He rolled, getting up as quickly as possible and bolted from the room. As soon as he was away from the hissing, he stopped, gasping and shuddering.

 

“The things I do for these kids, fucking Christ,” he muttered. He continued on, moving deeper into the dungeon. He was sure he was no longer under the Sphinx, the air becoming cold and damp. The walls were shining with trickles of water.

 

“Must be under the Nile by now,” he said, running his hand along the wall. He moved into the next room, the doorway behind him sealing shut with a thud. He jumped, whirling around to look at the blocked path, then jumped again as the wall behind him began moving. He turned back to face it, watching as it moved from left to right, a gap appearing for a brief second. He wasn’t fast enough to duck through, but he could see into the next portion. The far wall was moving _opposite_ of this one. He waited, ducking through when the gap appeared again.

 

Instead of being in a small space, now he was in a long, curved corridor, stretching to his left and his right. He watched the wall move, seeing the gap come up, however this one opened to a solid wall, moving in the other direction. He followed the gap, puzzled as to why it didn’t open into the next layer. He jogged, watching it, when the inner wall revealed a gap of its own. The two lined up for only a brief second before closing again. He continued to follow the gap, waiting for the second one to open up again, jumping through when it did.

 

In the next layer, the walls moved faster, giving him even less time to jump through. It took him three tries before he timed the jump right. The next moved even faster, and he knew he would be crushed if he didn’t time the gap _perfectly_. He ran beside the gap, one hand along the seam between the two walls. As soon as he felt the gap open, he was squeezing between. Even with his perfect timing, his pants leg caught in the space between the walls, ripping a shred of cloth off of his jeans.

 

Luckily there were no other circles to squeeze through, in the middle of the maze was a wooden spiral staircase. Some of the planks were missing, but Geoff climbed up anyway. The stairs creaked with age, and when he was about halfway up he could see the circular maze in its entirety, its concentric circles of stone still spinning valiantly.

 

He continued up the staircase, at one point nearly falling through as the wood gave out under his weight. When he emerged at the top, it was to a large open room, filled with sand and broken pillars. Light filtered in from above, illuminating the chamber. Geoff was in awe, the walls covered in murals millennia old. He slowed as he progressed through the room, taking in the murals. Many depicted the Sphinx and the gateway to what he assumed was the Never-There, guarded by large men with fangs and markings all over their skin. _Shadow markings_ , that’s what the djinn called them. Brian was starting to get them, the inky blue lines bleeding over his shoulders and down his spine.

 

“So,” Geoff said, touching one of the murals, “if I’m reading this right, the Sphinx and the gate were here _before_ the Egyptians,” he paused, moving along the wall. “And it was the _Egyptians_ that added the traps.”

 

He touched the image of the snake pit, shuddering involuntarily. As he continued on, he saw the maze, and the room he was stood in now. There was depicted the room, its pillars intact. There were many men in the room, and they all had the same look to them.

 

_Horror._

_Despair._

_Agony._

 

“Oh, that bodes well,” he muttered. He continued along the wall, unaware of the shifting in the shadows behind him.

 

He came to the middle of the mural, a chill running down his spine. There was a large painting of the beast from the lever room; the manticore. Below its claws were the bodies of men, the floor stained in their blood. Geoff gulped, barely breathing as he stared into the eyes of the beast on the wall.

 

That’s when he heard the shifting, and rolled out of the way just in time before the manticore, the _real_ manticore, struck. Its tail broke through the mural, the stinger oozing poison. Geoff scurried to hide behind a fallen pillar, digging his wand out of his bag. He wasn’t even sure if his wand would work, but it was all he had to defend himself.

 

He popped up from behind the pillar, throwing a spell at the manticore. Sparks flew from his wand, luckily there was no magic suppressant in this room. His spell hit true, but the manticore merely shook the sparks off and leapt at him. Geoff ducked, the manticore’s large frame vaulting over the pillar, then turned to face Geoff again. It roared, springing at Geoff again. He rolled, the manticore landing mere feet from him. It struck again with its tail, Geoff scrabbling backwards with each strike. The sand hissed with the poison left behind. Geoff managed to scramble to his feet, turning and running. The manticore loped after him, pure feline grace and terrifying beastial claws.

 

He threw more spells at the beast, but none of them had more than a passing effect on it. Electricity fizzled away, flames burned away far too quickly, the beast shook off ice like loose snow. Geoff darted from pillar to pillar, flinging spells and hoping something would work. With all the spells he himself had invented that went _boom_ , something had to work. He quickly ran through his spells, but nothing slowed the beast.

 

It was clear that the manticore was resistant to magic. Geoff cursed, dodging another swipe of claws. He was going to have to get creative. He looked around the room as best he could while also dodging claws, fangs, and stinger. The door that led to the next part of the dungeon wasn’t blocked, the manticore meant to be challenge enough. He jumped over another strike from the manticore’s tail, then booked it to the door. He wove in and out of fallen pillars, serpentining through the room. He made it to the door, but the corridor was straight and it would be hard to outrun the beast in there.

 

Geoff mounted his broom, kicking off the ground. This time the broom lifted, flying him through the corridor with ease. The manticore kept pace behind him, however it was just out of reach from swatting Geoff out of the air like a fly. He rounded the last corner, finally seeing his goal in sight.

 

Two large djinn stood outside of the gate. They snapped to attention as he approached, reading their scimitars. Then the manticore leapt around the corner, and they dropped their swords in fear. Geoff was going far too fast to stop short of hitting the wall behind the deactivated portal, but the guards lit it up, the wall behind it turning to an inky black veil. They hurried through, and just before they closed the portal, Geoff zipped through on his broom. The portal closed, just in time to keep the manticore from following them in.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled "Dungeons Are Hard"


	5. What Power?

Finally, he was inside the Never-There. It was vast, an underground cavern full of towering mushrooms, glowing faintly and casting odd shadows across everything. The air was damp, yet warm, a perfect breeding ground the fungus and moss that covered nearly everything. Towers of objects, books, everything you could imagine, stood high, stacked to the ceiling in some places. There were odd structures, and every so often a beast of unknown species would dart over the ground or flit past his head. If he were here for any other reason, Geoff would be pouring over the trinkets below, trying to catch one of the strange beasts, trying to make off with as many artifacts and samples as possible.

 

As it were, he was concerned with only one thing.

 

“Ray!” he shouted out across the caverns, his voice echoing back to him eerily. The fog shifted in the distance, Geoff thinking he saw something _very large_ move before dismissing it as a trick of the light.

 

He didn’t notice the way it blinked at him, watching him with three large eyes before moving on.

 

He continued circling overhead, calling out for Ray.

 

"Ray! Where are you?" he called into the darkness. He dodged towers of objects left and right, going as fast as he could while still being able to spot the small boy. The caverns were vast, with caves and tunnels that could lead to god knows where.

 

And Ray could be down any of them.

 

Geoff made a worried noise, trying to determine the most efficient way to look for the boy. There was just so much, he could be in here for _days_. Ray didn't have days to wait on him, if something hadn't already-

 

"Stop it Geoff, he's fine, he's gonna be fine, stop thinking like that," he mumbled to himself. "Ray! Can you hear me? Ray!"

 

The longer his voice echoed back to him with no answer, the longer he was faced with deafening silence, the more he could feel the hope of finding Ray safe draining away. He blinked away tears, telling himself it was just the wind whipping past his face.

 

What if he couldn't find him? What if when he found him he was-

 

Geoff choked out a sob. He had been so sure up until now that Ray _would_ be home safe, that he _would_ find him. But now, now he wasn't so sure. And his heart ached for it.

 

The little voice full of doubt in the back of his head grew louder and louder, until it was screaming.

 

_This was your fault! You could have prevented this! He's gone and he's never coming home and it's your fault! You aren't fit to be a parent! Ray is dead and it's all your-_

 

"Ray!" he cried out desperately. "Ray, please! Tell me where you are, say something so I can find you! Please!"

 

Silence.

 

Deafening, crushing, excruciating silence.

 

Geoff sobbed openly, fear and dread gripping him. His broom slowed as he wiped his tears away with both hands.

 

_You don't deserve to be a parent. It would be better if you stayed here forever. Those children would be so much better off without you._

 

"No," he cried weakly.

 

_Jack is a better father than you will ever be. You're cursed. Falling into your care was the worst thing that could have happened to those kids. Having you for a guardian is a fate worse than death. Ray is lucky to have gotten away, dying here and alone would be better than living with you._

 

"Ray! Please!" he cried, voice hoarse and weak from his tears. His voice cracked, straining to be loud enough to he heard.

 

"Please, Ray," he called out weakly, voice small and almost childlike as it bounced back to him. It echoed once, twice, three times.

 

But on the fourth...

 

"Ray!" Geoff called desperately, ears straining for the faintest sound.

 

"Daddy!" he heard out in the distance, and he shot toward the sound like a shot from a gun.

 

"Ray, keeping talking to me, where are you? Say something so I can find you!" Geoff called.

 

"I'm over here, Daddy!" Ray yelled, voice closer and growing closer still. Geoff banked a turn around a stack of trinkets, coming into view of a clearing. In the middle was a strange hut, some of the walls made from stacks of objects. The entire thing was covered in moss and mold. Running toward him from the hut was Ray, safe and unharmed.

 

Geoff took a nosedive from the air, leaping off his broom and nearly faceplanting in the springy earth. He ran, scooping the boy up in his arms and spinning him around. The third snot covered nose of the day was pressed into his shirt, but he couldn't care less. He cried into Ray's hair, stroking his black fuzzy ears and squeezing maybe a _smidgen_ too tight. Ray was laughing or crying or both, Geoff couldn't tell.

 

"I knew you would come find me! I wasn't scared! I wasn't scared because I knew you would come find me!" Ray said, hiccuping.

 

"Of course I would, I'd walk the ends of the earth to find you if I had to, I'd never ever leave you behind. I love you so much, I'm so glad you're _here_ and you're _safe_ and I'm so fucking happy Ray, you're _safe_ ," Geoff said over and over.

 

"The deer lady took real good care of me and said I could stay but I told her my daddy was coming to get me!" Ray said, smiling.

 

"Deer lady?" Geoff asked, smiling back at the boy.

 

"Yeah!" Ray said, pointing back to the hut. Geoff looked up as a large figure emerged from the hut. It was covered in pure white hair, matted with twigs and moss, with far too many legs, far too many teeth, and far too few eyes. It raised up to its full height, easily towering three times Geoff's height. The pit of Geoff's stomach dropped at the sight of the beast.

 

"You are not this boy's father," it hissed, approaching the pair. Geoff instinctively took a step back, clutching Ray tighter.

 

"Yes I am," Geoff said, leveling the beast with a glare he wasn't sure it could see.

 

"You are _human_ ," it said, sniffing the air. "The boy is _not_."

 

"That doesn't change the fact he is mine. Thank you for keeping him safe, but he needs to come home now," Geoff said, slowly walking backwards to his broom. The beast snarled.

 

"With _you_? Who lost him in the first place? You are not fit to keep the child. He is better off _here_ , with a _mother_ ," it said. "Unhand the child, mortal."

 

"No," Geoff said.

 

"No, I wanna go home with Daddy, Miss Deer-Lady. I had fun but I wanna go home. I miss my friends," Ray said.

 

"You have no need of _friends_ , child, you need a _mother_ ," the beast said. Geoff's foot tapped his broom, and he stood still, tensed and ready to run if need be.

 

"I've got two daddies, I don't need a mommy," Ray said, pouting.

 

"Leave the child, mortal,” it said again, ignoring Ray valiantly shaking his head and clinging to Geoff’s shirt.

 

“No,” Geoff repeated.

 

“Then I will have to take him by force,” it snarled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled "I May or May Not Have Ripped Off Skyrim For the Never-There and Bloodborne For the Mother-Beast"


	6. The Power of Voodoo

The beast bared its fangs. Muscle and sinew bunched up under the white fur, and Geoff grabbed his broom, turning away and mounting it in one fluid motion. The beast sprang into action and Ray screamed. Geoff kept one arm locked in a death grip around the boy’s middle and one in a death grip on the broom. He weaved through the towers of trinkets, hearing the crashing and destruction left in his wake as the beast chased the two.

 

Geoff pushed the broom to fly faster than he ever had before, with only a split second to correct his course around the mountains of items. The beast would roar every few seconds, in what Geoff assumed to be some form of echolocation. He flew low to the ground, using the rows and rows of objects as cover to confuse the beast. It screeched, but the distance between Geoff and the monster was opening fast. It was getting confused, turned around in the massive cavern.

 

The only problem was that Geoff was also turned around. The low light and the towering stacks made everything look the same. He had no way of knowing if he was going the right way. The beasts shrieks disappeared down one of the many tunnels, and Geoff took the reprise as a chance to slow down and get his bearings.

 

“Daddy, I wanna go home,” Ray cried. “I’m scared now.”

 

Geoff kissed the top of his head, flattening down one fuzzy cat ear.

 

“I know buddy, we’re on our way home. We just have to get out of here and then we’re on the way home. Just have to get out of here,” Geoff mumbled, trying to find any land mark. There was none. He had not taken note of any distinguishing features, and he cursed his oversight.

 

He slowed to a stop, hanging onto Ray as he looked around.

 

“Maybe I passed that mushroom, but I can’t remember,” he mumbled. “Fuck everything looks the same, how the hell am I supposed to…”

 

He trailed off, feeling a familiar tug in his pocket. He held onto Ray as he carefully reached into his pocket, pulling out the crystal pendulum. It swung lazily, Ray unable to help his cat instincts as he batted at it. Geoff held it away from the boy, concentrating on the door he came in through. The swinging increased, then pointed off to his left.

 

Geoff held the pendulum in the same hand as the broom handle, letting it guide his path. The pendulum twisted them through stacks and mushrooms, back through one of the tunnels. Before long he spotted the gate, letting out a shout of triumph.

 

“Yes! Ray, look, that’s how we get out!” he said. Ray gave a cheer of his own, snuggling into Geoff’s shirt.

 

The gate rested upon a cliff, overlooking the largest cavern. Geoff landed his broom, setting Ray down.

 

“How do we get it open, Daddy?” Ray asked, holding onto Geoff’s hand.

 

“I’m not sure, baby, uh, open sesame?” he said, but the portal didn’t open. Geoff ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, okay there has to be a way to get it open,” he mumbled, pulling out his wand to illuminate the portal.

 

The portal was carved into the stone wall, an inscription in a language Geoff didn’t recognize ran along the top. Geoff touched the inscription.

 

“Fuck if I could just translate this…” he said, muttering to himself. He concentrated energy into his fingertips, looking for an enchantment, but found nothing. He checked for hidden mechanisms, pressure plates, switches, anything.

 

Nothing. Just the gate and the inscription.

 

“Come on, how do I open you?” Geoff grumbled, getting increasingly frustrated.

 

“Daddy, I’m tired and I’m hungry and I gotta pee,” Ray said, tugging on Geoff’s shirt.

 

“I know, baby, I’m gonna get this open soon,” he assured the boy. Ray whined, tugging harder on Geoff’s shirt.

 

“Daddy, I gotta go!” he insisted.

 

“I know, look, just go over there,” Geoff said, gesturing to the left of the portal. Ray whined, shaking his head.

 

“I don’t wanna go here, I wanna go at home!” he said.

 

“Ray, we’re a long way from home, you’re not going to be able to hold it,” Geoff said. Ray pouted and stamped his foot.

 

“I don’t wanna!” he yelled. Geoff sighed, knowing Ray was just irritable because he was exhausted.

 

“Please Ray, just go here, and while you’re going I’ll get the portal open, deal?” he said. Ray grumbled, but went to do his business. Geoff turned back to the portal, double checking and then triple checking everything.

 

“Daddy, I can’t wash my hands,” Ray said. Geoff automatically pulled a wet nap out of his pocket, handing it to Ray without turning away from the portal.

 

When you had 20 kids ranging from age 5 to 16, you learned to carry certain things. People say the world is held together with duct tape and AA batteries, but Geoff thought wet naps were sorely underappreciated.

 

“Come the fuck _on_ , how do I get you open?” Geoff yelled, kicking the portal. Ray started to cry. “Baby, baby, why are you crying? Shh it’s okay,” Geoff said, scooping the boy up.

 

“You’re mad and it's my fault for getting lost,” he sniffled. Geoff bounced him on his hip, shushing him.

 

“No, I’m not mad because of you, it’s not your fault, okay? We’re just both tired and wanna get home, I’m not mad,” he said. Ray clung to his shirt.

 

“I wanna go home,” he said quietly.

 

“I know, we’re gonna get home,” Geoff said. He could feel Ray nod against his shoulder, then the tiny telltale snores meaning Ray had worn himself out and dozed off. Geoff smiled to himself, looking back over the portal, when there was a shriek in the distance. Geoff’s blood ran cold.

 

“Fuck,” he whispered, frantically looking over the portal again, trying not to jar Ray awake. The shrieking was getting closer, and it made Geoff’s hands shake. After a particularly loud shriek, Ray stirred.

 

“Daddy?” he mumbled, rubbing his eye.

 

“It’s okay baby, go back to sleep,” Geoff said, trying to keep his voice steady. There was another shriek and Ray whined in fear.

 

“It’s the deer lady, she’s gonna get me!” Ray cried.

 

“Like hell she will,” Geoff said. Ray looked over Geoff’s shoulder, seeing the beast in the distance and screaming.

 

“Get the door open!” Ray shouted, clinging harder to Geoff.

 

“I’m trying, baby, I don’t know how,” he said. Geoff thought it might be best to just run, bunker down somewhere until he could translate the inscription.

 

“Can’t you just wish it open?” Ray asked.

 

“No, I don’t think…” Geoff trailed off, willing to try anything, “I wish this portal would open.”

 

The portal lit up, changing from a solid wall to the inky black veil again. Geoff grabbed his broom, throwing himself and Ray onto it and zipping through the portal.

 

The djinn guards on the other side drew their blades again, but Geoff was already gone down the corridor before they could stop him. Right on his heels was the mother beast. Geoff raced down the hall, but the beast had to slow down to maneuver its large frame through the hall. Geoff broke out into the manticore lair, followed shortly by the mother beast. It shrieked, reaching up to swat Geoff out of the air, when the manticore sunk its teeth into the mother beast’s arm.

 

The manticore apparently was not discriminant about what it attacked, going after anything foolish enough to wander into its lair. Geoff used the fight as a distraction, circling overhead. He couldn’t go backwards through the dungeon, not while carrying Ray too. He looked up to the ceiling, at the light filtering in from above.

 

_Light_.

 

He must be close to the surface! Geoff pulled out his wand, blasting a hole in the ceiling. The debris fell, crushing both the manticore and the mother beast with a sickening crunch. He held on tight to Ray, flying his broom almost completely vertically through the new hole.

 

He squinted as the hot Egyptian sun hit his eyes, heat immediately sinking into his skin. From where they were, he could see the Sphinx, the sands in front still parted, and the pyramids. People on the ground pointed and shouted, and Geoff figured it would be best if they got the fuck out of there before the authorities were called. He took a brief moment to orient himself, then took off to the west.

 

“We’re free, Ray, we’re going home.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled "Geoff is an Idiot but He's a Good Daddy"


	7. Who Do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mad i couldnt fit the last two lines in >:/
> 
> alternatively titled "Geoff Eventually Did Write a Book Called 'Don't Go To The Fucking Never-There'. There was one sentence; 'But if you have to, wish yourself there, I was half-way across the ocean when I realized I could have just wished myself there.'"

Ray fell asleep somewhere over the Atlantic. With the worry and the adrenaline out of his system, Geoff realized he was exhausted too. He couldn't remember the last time he slept, the last time he ate. But with Ray tucked safely against his chest and purring, he found himself struggling to care. Soon they would be home and everything would be okay.

 

It was dark by the time Geoff landed the broom on the front lawn. Ray gave a sleepy purr as Geoff shifted him, the highly coveted "cat activation noise". He had barely gotten his landlegs back and started heading for the front porch when the door was thrown open.

 

"Jack! Geoff's back! He has Ray!" Matt yelled from the doorway, voice booming. Children began pouring out onto the lawn, all clamoring over Ray's safe return. The cat boy rubbed his eyes sleepily, waking up from all the noise. Ryan came running from the house, leaping over steps and almost falling. Once Ray caught sight of the older boy, he yelled in joy.

 

"Rye!" he said, reaching out for the boy. Geoff happily handed the cat boy over to Ryan, who gave him a crushing hug. Both boys, as well as most of the children swarming their feet, were crying tears of joy. Jack was one of the last to file out onto the lawn, followed by Barry and Arin, the former carrying Danny on his back. Jack was carrying Gavin, who was wailing a mixture of happiness and apologies.

 

"Ray! You're okay! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it! I didn't mean to send you away!" he yelled, trying to worm his way out of Jack's arms and into Ray's. The merboy grabbed at Ray, and Ray grabbed back.

 

"I know, it's okay. I'm not mad at you, Gavvy," the boy said, not caring that Gavin was soaking wet, obviously having just been pulled out of one of the many sources of water they've had to keep on hand for him. Ryan somehow managed to take Gavin from Jack, juggling both squirming boys. Jack walked over to Geoff, who let his head drop to the shapeshifter's shoulder.

 

"Glad to see you both made it back in one piece," Jack said, wrapping his arms around his partner and kissing his head. "Tired?"

 

"Fucking exhausted. You're not going to _believe_ half the shit I've been through. I'm writing a goddamn book about this," Geoff said. Jack laughed, giving Geoff a kiss when he finally lifted his head. Geoff looked over Jack's shoulder, smiling. Between trying to hold two five year olds and the sea of children trying to give Ray their own hugs, Ryan had decided to just sit down. His head barely peeked over the throng of kids. Geoff looked back to the house, seeing one more head peeking out from the door. He have Jack one last kiss, then walked up to the house.

 

"You don't have to hide, Brian, you can come out and see him," Geoff said to the boy.

 

"He- he's okay? He didn't get hurt did he?" Brian asked. Geoff smiled, shaking head.

 

"Not a hair on his head was harmed, I promise," he said.

 

"Is he mad at me?" the boy asked quietly.

 

"I don't know, Brian, he might be. But even if he is, he'll forgive you. I'm sure he's just happy to be home," Geoff said, holding his hand out to Brian. He hesitated for a moment, then took Geoff's hand and let Geoff lead him over to the group of children.

 

Ryan spotted Brian before Ray did, expression turning sour. It would probably take some time for Ryan to forgive Brian, but Geoff knew they would eventually work things out. Brian hid behind Geoff.

 

"Ray, there's someone else that wants to make sure you're okay," Geoff said, getting the cat boy's attention. Ray started to wiggle his way out of Ryan's arms, the older boy holding on tighter.

 

"Rye, it's okay," the boy said, and after a moment Ryan let him go. Ray got up, walking over to Brian.

 

"Ray, I'm sorry, I-" Brian said, before breaking down into tears. Ray hugged the djinn and Geoff could feel the relief wash over Brian.

 

"It's okay, I'm okay! Don't cry, Brian!" Ray said. The boys hugged it out for a moment before Ray pulled Brian over to join the rest of the kids sitting on the ground.

 

Jack came over to stand next to Geoff, wrapping his arm around him.

 

"Okay everyone, let's get serious for a second, then we can go back to slathering attention all over Ray," Geoff said, 20 heads turning to listen to him. "I think we've all learned some valuable things. We need to be careful what we wish for, because sometimes we say things we don't mean when we're upset and things can't always be fixed. And Brian," he said, addressing the boy directly, "not every wish needs to be granted."

 

Brian nodded, "Yes, sir."

 

"Okay, it's dark, let's take the snuggle pile inside," Jack said. The kids started heading back into the house, making it as far as the living room before the snuggle pile resumed. Jack and Geoff followed behind, exhaustion quickly setting into Geoff's bones.

 

"You know," Geoff said, "as far as curses go, I think I got lucky. I couldn't imagine what I would do without any of them."

 

Jack hummed in agreement.

 

"Yeah, it's good to be cursed."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! you made to the end! did you like it? let me know! you can also message me on my tumblr, alizirancrimson.tumblr.com. thank you for reading, okay love you bye bye <3


End file.
